I talked to another friend today who is leaving for residential treatment for her eating disorder. I saw this friend less than a month ago and se was talking about how well she was doing, how it was going to be different this time. She'd just gotten out of hospitalization-number-i-can't-keep-track. She's going away to a new place, hoping this one will work.
Too many people seem to forget that the most important component of therapy or treatment programs is YOU. You have to be your own agent for change, your own rope tied to safer ground and brighter futures. You have to be willing do dive in and do the difficult work - no one is going to save you, you have GOT to save yourself. Programs provide structure for people to engage in therapeutic conversations and experiences. But they are not the answer. Clearly - because so few people hold onto recovery after leaving the 24-7 system of a residential treatment facility.
It just... makes me mad. There is so much in this thing called life. But you've got to be part of the game to experience running the bases, catching the ball, and striking out. Life isn't easy. It's an emotional roller coaster that frequently gets off track. But it's the only one we've got and it's ours to experience. People that refuse to live their own lives... that hide in treatment program after treatment program... that supply ample excuses for their inability to do the work... and place ownership of the problem on anything external that comes to mind... drive me nuts!!
It also drives me nuts that so many programs do not work. Why? There is no transition out. That's what I want to do - why I'm going back to school. I'm tired of programs setting people up to fail, and the people accepting that failure as a given. There has to be a better way. I believe more people can fight back a hell of a lot faster than the current status quo.
So in summary, I leave you with a challenge. A challenge to do ONE thing in the next 24 hours that will move you forward. Will create an opportunity, connection or positive experience. Something that will assist you in living your OWN life. And I challenge you to come back her and leave a comment about what you did.
Well, I certainly agree with you. That's one of the biggest peeves of mine in healthcare in general -- but American society has, quite frankly, raised people to believe they deserve something, or that they are owed something, or that someone else should HELP them rather than them doing it themselves. People are selfish and self-absorbed and that's why they don't take care of themselves. IT's frustrating. But true. =/
ReplyDeleteI guess I kind of agree and disagree with this post. I do wish that people could fight for themselves...and it's true that if they don't want to get better, they probably won't. But I've been at the point (as I know you have as well) where it can be incredibly difficult if not impossible to help yourself out of the hole you've dug yourself into. I definitely don't think that people who are sick should push their problems onto other people...that just drags the other person down.
ReplyDelete-A.
I agree that sometime people do need help. I honor that and respect the courage it takes to get there. But those that fall into the pattern of in-out-in-out-in-out-in-out... drive me nuts.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is twofold. It's in the treatment programs and systems that allow this to happen. That don't serve their clients well that first time... and let's them go (usually because of $$) before they are ready. The second is with the clients who go in because they are avoiding life, and get used to the special treatment of a facility, and then figure out they can keep avoiding life by staying ill.
Perhaps one is more the realm of personality disorders... but too many people I've known have fallen in love with the patient role. It's infuriating to me - because some people really DO need help, a boost, a jump-start, and kick-in-the-butt to get on track. They meet these other people in programs and get sucked in... or these other people waste the limited resources available in programs that could be helping those that actually stand a chance.
I guess... I see both sides. I also know people that seem to have given up on life and just tread water in disorder, swimming from one treatment to another.