The first foot is the hardest

In the old expression that describes resiliency by placing one foot and putting it in front of the other, no matter what else is going on, there is one slight oversight. The cliche grossly underestimates the difficulty of lifting that first foot off the ground!

Today, my feet are clad in cute Payless black slides with a small heel to help keep my white pants from dragging on the ground. Heels are a favorite of mine, though I prefer to keep them to boots. I am a self-described boot-addict. If there were meetings - Boots Anonymous - I would attend. Alas, I digress.

The challenge for today is to pick up one of these feet and to place it solidly on the ground before me. Challenges arise in our daily lives all the time. Some are easier to navigate around than others. I find myself feeling quite heavy from the challenge laid before me yesterday, and frustrated that it seems to have clipped my wings. I refuse to wallow and I refuse to let negativity deviate me from my path. It's irritating to me when "constructive criticism" is too vague to be useful and too specific to ignore. It's one thing to be told you are problematic, it's another when there is no "this is how" to follow through upon.

Alas, I'm stubborn enough to move my feet despite the lack of confidence in my dance step. I'll fake it 'til I make it, smile on my face. I am me. At the end of the day, that "me" may need to be adapted for others to understand, but no one gets to make me feel guilty for being myself. That's what happened yesterday. I'm officially rejecting that notion. If I am going to lead any type of successful program, it must be one grounded in authenticity. I am not perfect and I have a long way to go to be the most effective leader possible. But I refuse to let feedback hit me so personally. I refuse to allow the words of one to undermine years of education and experience. The words were harsh - sharp as days-old cheddar cheese. But you know what? That person does not know ME. And perhaps her words were necessary for the improvement of the program, but it was not okay that the delivery created an environment of hostility and extreme doubt. Assess my style of communication and presentation, advise me on ways to improve and to connect with more people. But do not sling words at the person behind the position.

I am me. I have worked hard to be proud of that statement and not see it as an embarrassment or an excuse. No one is going to tear that apart.