That's so NOT gay

I'm really getting tired of hearing, reading and seeing the expression "That's so gay." People use the word to represent dumb, stupid, bad, horrible, outlandish and repulsive. If a person is acting outside of the gender norms, they are labeled gay. A man that doesn't want to have sex all the time - gay. A tv show that flops - gay. A musical group that people don't like - gay.

Think about it. When have you said it? When do people around you say it? Is it a positive or a negative?

Some have told me "it's just a word." Right, like "nigger" was just a word? Or "cunt" is just a word? It's offensive because an identity is being used as a qualifier for stupid and pathetic. If people went around saying "That's so Black," the NAACP would be all up in arms and there's be a news story covering the incident within 30 minutes. So why do we shake our heads and dust off those ancient rationalizations for this one?

My identity is NOT a joke. It's not funny. It's not stupid, pathetic, bad or horrible. Stop using it as an insult, and maybe, just maybe, use it with respect. People that come out face more discrimination, hatred and callousness. We face people who think they have a right to decide who we can marry, what happens in our bedrooms, and who our hearts should beat for. It's absurd. We are not "less than" our heterosexual peers. We are not better than either. But using phrases like this institutionalizes the same oppression that has us banned from wedding the ones we love, from having rights in the medical world around the person we love, and from walking down the street arm in arm with the person we love. It's hard enough being out. We don't need to be reminded of the homophobia and bigotry of the average American every time we log into Facebook or walk into a movie theatre.